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interview // german // 6:07 Min // 15.06.2008
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At the end of January 1944 the aunt got us ready and dressed and we asked: “Where are we going?” The older ones already knew, but the little ones didn’t. And she said: “Well, we are going to church.” So we asked: “At night? Why are we going to church at night? Why is there a church service at night tonight?” The aunt answered: “Well, because there is. Let’s go.” So out we went. We had put a lot of clothes on – whatever we owned and she took a blanket. Everything seemed so adventurous, but for some reason we were not frightened. We were just glad to get out of this cellar. Then we went, but the wrong way; not the way to where the church was, but up the mountains, a totally different direction. The oldest cousin was 14 years old and he should carry a rifle. He was really pleased about that. By then we knew: now we are going into war. But we weren’t really frightened. There were men with us and because there were adults with us, the fear went. We walked very, very far. There was so much snow, and the snow was so hard that nothing sank in. It was very glittery, as well, so it was a beautiful but cold night. During the first night we walked for at least three or four hours until we reached a bunker high up in the mountain. It was very cold in this bunker, but we were so tired that we were still glad when we could lie down. Although there was only fern to lie on and a horse blanket to cover us up and we were really cold. I don’t know how long we lived in this bunker. It was very cold and dark. There was not a lot to eat and we had to be quiet. We were not allowed to talk and anyway that was very hard for me. I was such a lively and inquisitive child. And for me it was the hardest to stay quiet all day and there was nothing to play with either, nothing. There was nothing to talk about not even with the adults. Even they did not talk much. I cannot remember what we had to eat, either. Only one time, I can remember, a partisan brought a loaf of bread and a can of milk. We were so happy that we could at least eat properly. But we only got a little piece and one or two mouths full of milk to drink. I was so disappointed. I thought: ‘Why does she give us so little all the time?’ We did not understand that she had to economize. Well, after a while she gave us some more and explained that she had to ration. Then the bunker got dangerous because it was always dangerous to stay in one bunker for too long; far away from the farmers, so the provisions were bad. So we went over a mountain into Yugoslavia. That time we walked the whole night, I think. So long that I fell asleep – fell asleep walking. When we were outside at night I always used to watch the stars. That was a sort of amusement; the only one we had. Here and there we were in a stable, that was nice. It was warm in the stable and we were used to the smell. The main thing was that it was warm and safe there, but most of the time we stayed in bunkers. There was fighting, as well. Once, we were hiding in the forest when there was some fighting. Then a partisan pushed me down behind a tree and held me down so I could not get up. They were shooting, we saw flashes the whole night … I do not know how we got out of that. But, thank God, we did get out of it in one piece. And then, until April, there was fighting in Slovenia, in Solčava it was called, Logarska Dolina and it was so dangerous that they decided the aunt should go back to Carinthia.
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